My Metabolic Damage Story
My history with metabolic damage started 3 years ago.
I looked at myself in the mirror one day and felt something was off. It wasn't until I stepped on the scale that I noticed, I was right. My weight had increased by 5 kilos in a matter of a couple weeks.
I freaked out. I was eating cleaner than ever and worked out religiously.
It didn't stop there. As the weeks went by the weight increased more and more and more.
I tried to calm myself down and just came up with a new diet and exercise regimen.
I started to increase my workouts even more, increase the intensity and cut back on a few more calories.
I gave myself a couple of weeks "that will do it", so I thought.
The weight still went up. As the days went by I felt like I was in a completely different body, nothing seemed to work anymore.
Although I was trying even harder, my body didn't seem to listen to me anymore nor could I understand what he was trying to tell me.
I went to see a sports medicine specialist,
told him about my symptoms, who then sent me to an endocrinologist.
Verdict, I had metabolic damage.
Years of overtraining and undereating made me unable to lose any more fat. In fact, my body was now producing fat and not just a little. My hormones were completely off, so was my digestive system and my central nervous system.
I had extremely high cortisol levels, very low leptin levels, and serious adrenal fatigue.
I was constantly hungry, extremely anxious, I slept hours and hours and still felt sleep deprived.
I felt blue and had little to no energy, to even make it to the gym and my period? It was gone for months at this point.
My body wasn't in a good place nor was my mind. In fact, it was taking back its authority over me. He was getting back what I was depriving him for years!
I'm not going to lie. It was one of the most difficult and challenging moments in my life.
It's a feeling of complete disconnection with yourself and mentally draining.
It‘s a feeling of having worked so bad and so hard for something and it all comes crashing down so quickly.
You feel ashamed and worthless. Not able to explain to anybody what is happening to your own body.
You now need to accept a new body, you‘re not comfortable with and need to learn how to prioritize health over aestethics.
I knew I needed to be patient with myself this time around, heal my mind first and then later heal my body.
Your mind is what gets you going through everything, every day. With a strong mind comes a strong body. Though if a strong body comes with a drained mind, you won‘t even make it out of bed.
Metabolic damage is not just „wrecking your metabolism“. It‘s a lot more than that.
It‘s often to find that women with metabolic damage have or have had a history of eating or mental health disorders such as Anorexia nervosa, Bulimia, Body dysmorphic disorder, anxiety disorder and many other disorders. I myself was battling extreme anxiety disorder since the age of 6 and body dysmorphia my entire teenage and adult life, as well as orthorexia nervosa.
Once the doctor finally had a name for my condition and for everything my body was going through,
I felt a little hope. After years and years of overtraining and underrating I had put my body in a really bad place.
I wasn‘t prepping for a Bikini competition, though I did put my body and mind through the same extreme dieting and training regiments.
What a bikini competitor goes through pre-show, I put myself through, for years in a row.
My doctor advised me to increase my calories tremendously, to cut back on HIIT training completely and to go
hard with the weights. Truth is, I was mentally drained and just couldn‘t make it.
Plus I didn‘t feel it was right to let my body to go through drastic changes again.
I started reading about reverse dieting, intuitive eating, how to listen and be in tune with your body, educating myself about the female body and hormones and how crucial they actually are. I started educating myself about supplements and how to get control over my mind and body again. About how to find a healthy balance overall.
It wasn‘t easy having a „condition“ that wasn‘t familiar to a lot of people nor seen as a real condition by doctors.They would only advice quick fixes but I didn‘t want to go through one yet again. By finding little information here and there about metabolic damage I started looking into a more Holistic approach to it.
It‘s been 3 years now and I‘m almost recovered.
What I‘ve learned on that journey about myself, my body and self-love is priceless. Going from 'stage lean' to a body you are not at all comfortable with, brings a lot of challenges, fears, and self-doubt with it.
And although another stupid diet could take my body away from me, my mind will know how to love it no matter what it looks like.
And that is the power I want to give right back at you.
I want to be there for women who are scared to face what lies behind years of restricting and punishing. It‘s not easy going from a lifestyle where being unproductive is unacceptable, eating „bad“ foods or having a glimpse in the mirror would have screwed your entire day to resting, loving and accepting everything along the way.
As of today, I've never been happier with my body.
I eat what I want, I train because I love it and I don‘t when I don‘t feel like it.
I treat myself not once a month but several times a week and even lose weight with every cheat meal I eat.
I move my body because I love what he does for me and not because I hate him and need to punish him.
I had a dream body but the price I had to pay for it, the things I had to give up for it and the unhealthy relationship I had with it, were all not worth it.
Now I have a body I truly love, not because he's perfect but because he's mine and he's capable of so many wonders.
And I promised him to never hurt him again.
If you answer yes, to most of these symptoms, do not worry.
You can get in touch with me (no ------- ) and we can discuss further recovery possibilities. If this story sounds familiar to you and you want to know if you've damaged your metabolism, check out my list of symptoms